Secretly weeping, but not anymore since I'm waiting this,
Wonder where I was in your heart when you were enjoying yourself?
Its not like I didn't want to be there for you everytime, but rather, i couldn't
I was having problems on my own, to let you see the state i was in, i wouldn't
I did complaint that you were never there at all, but wat did you do?
Through my proudest moments, past darkest falls.

As luck would have it, that when i needed you
I took off somewhere looking for another listening ear.
Two people can't possibly rant to each other at the same time
That way i'll only end up in a mass festival of quarrels.
Like the stems of crepper plants carelessly intertwine.
I can be the creep, you'll be the vine.

Just days before my examinations, when i should be mugging
Here i am, spending my nights, regretting.
Tried my best all the time to be on your side,
but unfortunately, you found me irritating instead.
and all we could ever do was fight.
even before I could repent and apologise,
It was such an unfortunate surprise,
i am really afraid that you will find someone else to count on,
Someone,
More cheerful, reliable, and if not better, just as nice.
telling you the truth,
i think i really fallen for you.
i keep thinking of you.
however, do you care?
do you even know?
i hate myself.
i hate myself for giving myself so many tortures.

How did i react to this?
You really wanna ask?
I pretended to be happy, tried not to exist
I never fused, never fussed.
I attempted to stay out of your way,
to do things ur own way.
And it turned out to be a complete failure.
inside I know I'm NOT okay.
do you know?
have you ever asked?
did u ever tried to found out why i am feeling this way?

Enough of me talking about me
You're having problems of your own, obviously.
if you bumped into someone, somewhere, coincidentally
To your heart, she probably still has the key,
For that I apologise once again for all my mistakes.
Not being able to see you due to parental control,
Not my fault if one unfortunate day,
you love me no more.

And sorry for writing about you,
I really have no choice.
I have to be open with my feelings too,
Maybe my bad luck i have with boys.
I'm sorry for that also
For not being a good and sweet and nice gf for you,
Not being an ear to listen understand, and know.
By the time you read this, it might probably already be the end of our bond.

But i really hope not.
Its all my cursed fault.

imabouttobreak.