My heart sank.

I think i tend to over-estimate myself. Knowing that its impossible yet i went ahead to apply for it. I said it was for fun, but deep down, i'm hopeful.

When the news of rejection reached my email, I couldn't help but stared at the screen, not knowing what to do next. I picked up my hp and search for my mum's contact. Not knowing if I should expect some consolation or some scolding to make myself feel better. I know that i've let her down. now she has to pay for my school fees. Well, not that she don't have to if i were to get it. But at least, she will feel more proud and more worth it for paying my school fees. Somehow, i dunno why, i felt that disappointing my mum hurts more than the feeling of rejection. Both sucks anyway.

I guess I'm too high an achiever and i placed too much hope for myself. i think that i can have everything. I think i am a spoil brat. When things don't go my way, i whine, i will make a fuss out of it. Just like now. I guess, this is the best bday gift ever.

What I can do now is to cotinue to study hard? And maybe, maybe maybe, to aim for first-class honours? Than maybe they will regret for not giving the scholarship to me 4 years ago.

I need a miracle. :(